elfscribe5 (elfscribe5) wrote,

Hippo penis size and the joys of researching on the net

Thought you guys might enjoy this.

God I love the internet.  I don't know how writers ever got anything done before it.  I'm an inveterate researcher for fics.  Everything from looking up the etymology of a word to make sure it's not too modern (I have a great website link on my desktop for that), to how to apply kohl properly (it's not done the way one would think), to how fast a Spanish galleon and/or Viking ship can sail (i.e. how long would it take Erestor and Glorfindel to sail from Umbar to Lindon, a distance of about 1200 miles according to my Atlas of Middle Earth).  Sometimes I have to curb myself as I have a tendency to start researching some little point and the next thing I know I've spent a couple hours finding out about something that I would NEVER have thought to look up otherwise, and wasting valuable writing time in the process. But it is worth it, as sometimes, in the pursuit of verisimilitude, one finds oneself googling the god-damnedest things.  

For the scene in Osse's Gift where Erestor wonders about the huge leathery thing hanging in the apothecary's stall.  Originally I had it as a hippo penis.  Then I thought I should check that out just in case, since of course, I've never actually seen a hippo penis and didn't know if they really were huge.  So I googled, hippo, penis size. Mirabile dictu!  Boom, there it was, actual information about hippo penis size.  Like magic.  Turns out that I was right to question.  I learned that, for such a large animal, hippos actually have disappointingly small weeners which are hidden most of the time in a sheath and therefore WOULDN"T DO at all for the scene.  Crap.  So, I tried googling, Rhino, penis size and while I'm doing that I'm thinking that if anyone was checking up on my internet activity they would seriously worry about me.   And YES,  incredibly, there is info on the net about rhinos and their penis size.  Turns out they are amazingly well endowed, quite horny (please forgive me but it's so) and usually fornicate for hours on end.  No source said whether or not the female rhino appreciates this, however one did claim that a female zookeeper, after witnessing the rhino in action, had to go home for a cold shower.  It is for this reason that rhino horn is considered an aphrodisiac, which sadly has caused the beasts to be hunted almost to extinction.  Done in by penis envy, as it were.  Stupid humans.   So, anyway the rhino  turned out to be the perfect candidate for Glorfindel's little dig at Erestor and I learned something I would NEVER have thought I'd want to know.  Unfortunately, now you know it too. LOL!

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