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Captain Jack

Hippo penis size and the joys of researching on the net

Posted on 2007.01.14 at 21:53
Thought you guys might enjoy this.

God I love the internet.  I don't know how writers ever got anything done before it.  I'm an inveterate researcher for fics.  Everything from looking up the etymology of a word to make sure it's not too modern (I have a great website link on my desktop for that), to how to apply kohl properly (it's not done the way one would think), to how fast a Spanish galleon and/or Viking ship can sail (i.e. how long would it take Erestor and Glorfindel to sail from Umbar to Lindon, a distance of about 1200 miles according to my Atlas of Middle Earth).  Sometimes I have to curb myself as I have a tendency to start researching some little point and the next thing I know I've spent a couple hours finding out about something that I would NEVER have thought to look up otherwise, and wasting valuable writing time in the process. But it is worth it, as sometimes, in the pursuit of verisimilitude, one finds oneself googling the god-damnedest things.  

For the scene in Osse's Gift where Erestor wonders about the huge leathery thing hanging in the apothecary's stall.  Originally I had it as a hippo penis.  Then I thought I should check that out just in case, since of course, I've never actually seen a hippo penis and didn't know if they really were huge.  So I googled, hippo, penis size. Mirabile dictu!  Boom, there it was, actual information about hippo penis size.  Like magic.  Turns out that I was right to question.  I learned that, for such a large animal, hippos actually have disappointingly small weeners which are hidden most of the time in a sheath and therefore WOULDN"T DO at all for the scene.  Crap.  So, I tried googling, Rhino, penis size and while I'm doing that I'm thinking that if anyone was checking up on my internet activity they would seriously worry about me.   And YES,  incredibly, there is info on the net about rhinos and their penis size.  Turns out they are amazingly well endowed, quite horny (please forgive me but it's so) and usually fornicate for hours on end.  No source said whether or not the female rhino appreciates this, however one did claim that a female zookeeper, after witnessing the rhino in action, had to go home for a cold shower.  It is for this reason that rhino horn is considered an aphrodisiac, which sadly has caused the beasts to be hunted almost to extinction.  Done in by penis envy, as it were.  Stupid humans.   So, anyway the rhino  turned out to be the perfect candidate for Glorfindel's little dig at Erestor and I learned something I would NEVER have thought I'd want to know.  Unfortunately, now you know it too. LOL!


nienna_weeper at 2007-01-15 07:14 (UTC) (Link)

Sooooo.... where is this fic of yours of which you speak, hmmmm?

Did you know that there are scores of vids of mating horses on YouTube? Don't ask how I came to know this. But dayum! Just dayum!
elfscribe5 at 2007-01-15 07:40 (UTC) (Link)
Hi Nienna,
Mating horses on YouTube? Yikes. NOT something I really want to see.
Re: the fic. I've posted it on my LJ - all 7 chapters. Just scroll back a couple of posts on my LJ. You should be able to see my f-locked entries, I hope.
elfscribe5 at 2007-01-15 07:42 (UTC) (Link)
And yes, I do wonder how you know about those horses. LOL!
larianelensar at 2007-01-15 07:56 (UTC) (Link)
HA! Yeah, I've come to totally rely on Google. For everything. Or IMDB.

And *I* bet nienna knows about the horses on Youtube because *I* posted a gross horse pus vid in the other lariEn's LJ the other day. *hee*
elfscribe5 at 2007-01-15 18:06 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, so you're responsible. Ha
ilye_elf at 2007-01-15 08:37 (UTC) (Link)
<snerk> Have you ever Googled for an elephant's penis? They're S-shaped. Literally. (God, I so had to keep from using the word "serpentine" there...)

And, for the record, pigs' penes are corkscrew-shaped. And they spin, too. What was that you were saying about the internet? I love doing an animal reproduction course ;)
elfscribe5 at 2007-01-15 18:07 (UTC) (Link)
Ohmygod, they spin? Ah the wonderful world of the Discovery Channel. And in the category of info we didn't really want to know. LOL.
elfscribe5 at 2007-01-15 18:13 (UTC) (Link)
Amazing pic, that.
alexcat at 2007-01-15 12:50 (UTC) (Link)
I find the idea that the zookeepers needed cold showers very disturbing!
elfscribe5 at 2007-01-15 18:08 (UTC) (Link)
Er yes, isn't it? I can't imagine it myself.
Laurelin (who wants to be a spatula)
pilgrimskiss at 2007-01-15 15:21 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, wonderful. I did quite a similar post on my own LJ just a few days ago, after searching (and finding!) information about the White Star Line company and its vessels. Isn't internet great?

I'm thinking that if anyone was checking up on my internet activity they would seriously worry about me.


the etymology of a word to make sure it's not too modern (I have a great website link on my desktop for that)

Ohh. *wants* Feel like sharing?
elfscribe5 at 2007-01-15 18:16 (UTC) (Link)
Hi there Laurelin, how are you doing? You disappeared there for a while.
Re: website. Here's the link: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php
I love this site. It has the date for the earliest instance of a word's use and other great info. I have yet to look for a word that it didn't have.
Laurelin (who wants to be a spatula)
pilgrimskiss at 2007-01-15 23:32 (UTC) (Link)
I have it bookmarked, thanks! That one's going to prove its worth in the future, I am sure. I am sort of a perfectionist myself, so I recognized a lot of myself in your post. :)

I'm good, thanks! Just busy, busy, busy. LOL. How are you?
keiliss at 2007-01-15 20:10 (UTC) (Link)
I love to look in on my flist and see all the erudite matters under discussion... like animal penises and the variety thereof. Oh well, no knowledge is wasted or so they say - or something...

Too often I've set off to research something for a fic, worded the question badly, come out at some fascinating and unrelated site and two hours later have struggled to remember what it was I originally needed to know.


elfscribe5 at 2007-01-17 06:22 (UTC) (Link)
Aren't we a lofty bunch, though? *g* Isn't it fun though. I LOVE the places such a quest leads. Fun, but not always productive.
Maggie Honeybite
maggiehoneybite at 2007-01-16 02:49 (UTC) (Link)
elfscribe5 at 2007-01-17 06:23 (UTC) (Link)
Uh yes, quite.
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