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A drabble for Lady Roisin

Posted on 2010.04.07 at 16:28
Tags: , , ,

Pic by dreamworlds.ru   "Luthien"

Unrequited by elfscribe
For Lady Roisin
Rating: G
Characters: Daeron, Lúthien, Thingol, Melian
Beta: Thevina   
A drabble in 300 words.

By twos and threes they came, the children of Ilúvatar, treading through the warm summer night, glittering like fireflies, silky robes billowing. With gentle laughter they gathered  to hear Daeron, the master harper, who, it was said, could charm a song from the wind.

Tall, silver-haired Elu Thingol came, holding his queen, fair Melian by the hand, their ancient love shiny as spring leaves. They nodded at Daeron, who sat on the dais, hands poised over the strings of his harp, yearning for what they wore so lightly. 

Last came Lúthien, beloved of her people, cloud of black hair falling untamed about her shoulders, eyes brighter than the evening star. Briefly, she glanced at Daeron, holding him enthralled. Just for her, he had crafted a new song, laboring long into the night. It must be perfect.

Expectant stillness.

Tenderly, he plucked the strings, releasing a cascade of crystal notes and the crowd sighed.  In a voice purer than silver, sweeter than a nightingale, he sang of Cuiviénen in the morning of the world, of shining waterfalls that widened into clear pools, and foamed, flower-laden, towards the sea. There, in the hidden dells the awakening Firstborn touched their own faces and knew they were alive. The gladsome tune changed to a minor key and Daeron sang of a fair maid dwelling by the waters, who had captured a youth’s heart, and because she knew it not, paid him no heed. Overhead wheeled the canopy of stars as he sang of longing and love unrequited until his listeners’ hearts were wounded and their cheeks wet.  

He bowed his head, his song ended.  A beat of silence, then, a tumult of applause. 

He sought her approving glance, but of all those admiring faces, only she looked past him, perceiving another melody from afar.   

 * *  * *      


heartofoshun at 2010-04-08 00:54 (UTC) (Link)
Well done! Love the ending "only she looked past him, perceiving a melody from afar."

Also love the setting. Very atmospheric and particularly, "Overhead wheeled the canopy of stars as he sang of longing and love unrequited until his listeners’ hearts were wounded and their cheeks wet."

Poor Daeron. I've never understood why understood why Luthien would want Beren over him, well, except for Tolkien's complicated plot purposes. Nevermind me!
elfscribe5 at 2010-04-08 04:09 (UTC) (Link)
I never had really thought of Daeron until your wonderful characterization in Mereth Aderthad. Then Lady R said he was her favorite and so this showed up in my fevered little mind. Thanks for telling me what lines you liked.
Minuial Nuwing
minuial_nuwing at 2010-04-08 01:39 (UTC) (Link)
Sad, but lovely.

I think Oshun is right - Daeron was a martyr to Tolkien's twisted plotting. I mean, really - Beren?

I have always found Luthien vaguely irritating. **hides**

elfscribe5 at 2010-04-08 04:15 (UTC) (Link)
Hey thanks Min. Daeron as a martyr to Tolkien's twisted plotting. LOL. I like that. Poor thing. I know he's painted as sort of the bad guy but it would be easy enough to turn it around and see things from his and Thingol's pov. As far as Luthien, well, I guess there's no reasoning with the heart and Beren was the one. I always thought Tolkienverse carries romanticism to an absurd extreme so that when you fall in love like Thingol and Melian or Luthien and Beren, you stand stricken holding each other by the hand (er supposedly) and staring at each other for a really, really long time. Doesn't anyone have to pee through all that?
leaf_light at 2010-04-08 04:59 (UTC) (Link)
That's beautiful, I love the imagery and the evocative description of it all. Yes love happens where it will but couldn't she have listened at least?!

LOL at your last comment though.
elfscribe5 at 2010-04-08 20:55 (UTC) (Link)
Hiya Leaf. Thanks. But yes, Luthien could have at least given the poor man a nod. LOL. Glad you enjoyed the image of Luthien and Beren holding hands and staring at each other, meanwhile hopping up and down. Heh.

Btw, enjoyed your latest missive and will reply soon. Hugs!!

Edited at 2010-04-08 08:57 pm (UTC)
andolinn at 2010-04-08 07:37 (UTC) (Link)
Gorgeous! So evocative and such lovely imagery.
elfscribe5 at 2010-04-08 20:55 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you kindly.
chaotic_binky at 2010-04-08 09:38 (UTC) (Link)
How beautiful :D I especially liked your description of Dearon's song of Cuiviénen.

Hugs Binky xxx

Edited at 2010-04-08 09:44 am (UTC)
elfscribe5 at 2010-04-08 20:56 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you Binky. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. That was the most elfy thing I think I've written.
thrihyrne at 2010-04-08 17:17 (UTC) (Link)
Gorgeous, gorgeous! In my re-reading, this sentence jumped out: There, in the hidden dells the awakening Firstborn touched their own faces and knew they were alive.

That must have been such a tremendous moment, that Primordial Awakening. The Dwarf-centric soul that I have still wants to jump up and say, "But Aule's children were created first!" ;) You so beautifully capture Elvish sensitivities, especially in these early years. I admire that!!
elfscribe5 at 2010-04-08 21:01 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you my dear. You'll notice I changed it quite a bit more after I sent it to you. Thanks for the comments.

Kenaz wrote an incredible story about the awakening and I can't remember the title now, but really wonderful ideas about what that was like. I'd never thought of it before. I'm glad you think this captured elvish sensibilities. This is more fae than I've written the elves before. Feels like the more traditional view of the Faery Queen.
Looking forward to your fic. Have a lot of fun this weekend!
keiliss at 2010-04-09 14:37 (UTC) (Link)
Rather more Faery Queen than your usual elven portrayals, yes, but quite lovely. The first paragraph set the scene wonderfully --- treading through the warm summer night, glittering like fireflies --- and the ending brought us back to a reality still to come.

Beren. My theory is and always has been that he was ripped, that he was hot, and that Luthien was thinking with her hormones.

*hears JRR rolling in his grave*
elfscribe5 at 2010-04-09 16:08 (UTC) (Link)
He was ripped. Oh yes, I'll totally go for that view. LOL. Something caused that instant attraction, love at first sight and so on. Btw, I can't get that image out of my head, that awful painting by Rowena Morrill of a barely clad Luthien flinging herself around the clearing with Beren lying in wait, dressed like Robin Hood. Oh my eyes, my eyes! LOL.
keiliss at 2010-04-10 23:18 (UTC) (Link)
:| She's lying just off to the left of the icon where she fell when her frenetic leaping sent her head on into a tree. Robin Hood wannabe has gone to get water to bathe her poor sore, head.

And now I will never look at this icon with a straight face again!

elfscribe5 at 2010-04-11 02:01 (UTC) (Link)
And now I will never look at this icon with a straight face again! Heh heh. I love it.

ainisarie at 2010-04-09 20:14 (UTC) (Link)
I've always felt sorry for Daeron in a way. Unrequited love is bad enough. Eternal unrequited love...horrors. This expresses his feelings and sadness so well.

Now i did get a giggle or two or three out of some comments. Beren=ripped. He undoubtedly was. But regarding the having to pee thing, and yes, that thought has crossed my mind more than once when reading about Elu and Melian: in that video, did the Finnish gal not say elves don't poo and pee? There you have it.

elfscribe5 at 2010-04-10 00:29 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. That's right she did say elves don't poo and pee. It's biologically impossible since canonically we know they eat and I haven't heard of elves exploding soooooo I guess we have to assume magic. LOL.
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